Living as a sinner in Christ


Have you ever felt like you’re drowning in the middle of the ocean, screaming for help and nobody’s coming? Well, I have felt that way so many times in my life, especially after deserting God for worldly pleasures. I’ve fallen so many times and have felt deserted because of my sins. There are so many things I have taken delight in, especially worldly things. I often thought I knew Christ and The Bible, and could never be challenged but I have been challenged so many times. My challenges came from my life as a Christian; proving myself as the true disciple of Christ that I claim to be. Living life as a follower of Christ isn’t as easy as it seems. It comes at a price. There are so many times when I have had to sacrifice my resting time, my study time, my party time and all the precious moments I really love. You see, it’s one of those prices I pay for loving Christ. It’s true I am not perfect. I fall short of His glory: I sin, I curse, and do all sorts of evil things, yet He still loves me and cherishes me. He accepts me just as I am. I wonder if I’d ever have a friend who’ll accept me for my faults, and my wrongs. I understand I’m human, but does that mean I’m going to keep falling short of His glory? Sometimes when I’m lonely, I just sit in my little room, by the corner and ask myself if I’m right for the kingdom of God. If God came to the world today, would I be among the chosen ones? I dread being in hell. I don’t want to think of myself being with the fiend. It sucks!!! I won’t deny that sin is really pleasurable. There’s much pleasure in sin, but the saddest part of it is it leads to doom. It’s not easy to stay clear off temptation. I’ve been tempted so many times in my life and I have fell in some while I haven’t in others. For me, falling isn’t the most important thing here. It’s rising again. I often repeat to myself I won’t fall again, I won’t give the devil a chance, but it’s not been easy. Some days have really been a struggle for me. I’ve had to wrestle with so many things: selfish desires, worldly pleasures, material things, and evil thoughts. It’s been a hard time to sometimes acknowledge that my true freedom comes from Christ. I don’t know about you friends, but honestly, listening to Christian music helps in so many ways. I think there are amazing artists like Nicole C. Mullen, Cece Winnans, and Ron Kenoly, who greatly inspire me to know that this earthly journey is temporal and the right time will come when I’ll enjoy life in all its fullness with God, in paradise. Thanks to these people, I strive everyday to live the life that Christ lived, knowing and believing that on that day, I’ll join Him with the angels to praise God for eternity.

In conclusion, I’d say one of my main motivators to living a sin-free life is this phrase that I keep repeating to myself, “The time will come when we will all stand together in unity, with our sins atoned, worshipping our glorious and merciful God… Never forget that day for it definitely will come.” Always remember brothers and sisters, that we are living this earthly life for the glory of someone else, God our loving and merciful father. So, it’s always best to think well and make sure we act in accordance to His will in order to acquire greater wisdom.

Fighting addiction

imagesSo many people have different ways of defining addiction as well as viewing it. To me, it’s simply the reliance or dependence on something. Some people view addiction as a bad thing, others as good, while the rest have indifferent attitudes toward it. I think it’s good if it is either God-driven, for a common good, or for growth. In other circumstances, it could be bad if it goes against our moral values, goes contrary to God’s will or hurts us and our neighbors. There are so many forms of addiction. It could be to alcohol, marijuana, sex, money, pornography, the internet, social media, reading The Bible, studies, loving people, and so on. Whatever the negative addiction may be, it’s always best to hand everything to God and reach out for help.

I know it’s really hard for some people to quit their various addiction(s), but it’s always worth-noting that God is in control. Friends, I’ve got a very sad story to share with y’all. When I was five, I was abducted and abused by my neighbor while he was still alive. I will never forget those awful days!!! As young and innocent as I was, I couldn’t talk to somebody about it, and his wife barely knew what was going on because everything happened during her absence. I had nobody to talk to, and I started to feel lonely. No one knew about the ordeal I was facing and back then, I thought I could face my fears alone, without realizing how fragile my little heart was. A couple of months later, I heard the guy died and his family moved away from the neighborhood. For 14 years, I forgot about those days till I was assaulted again at 17 by another man. This was the most horrible experience of my life. I felt broken, and my spirit was crushed for ages. After the incidence, I dialed 911, but unfortunately,they could do nothing to help me since I was drugged and failed to provide details. It was then I became a porn and masturbation addict. I was tormented. As I turned 18, all these incidences kept flashing on my mind and sadly, depression set in. I felt that was the only way I could get rid of those memories. I became more depressed as time went by, and my life was no longer the same. I’ve been fighting depression, masturbation and pornography. No matter how hard I tried, I kept falling. This year, I set my resolutions among which avoiding lust and sexual impurity are a priority. I went through it in January successfully and failed in February. I’m learning not to give up because I would like to wear my crown on that day, knowing I fought the battle of my life. You see, those were my scars, and are now my battle wounds. Honestly, some days have been a struggle and I remain thankful to God for making me go through it all successfully. Though I fell, I’m trusting God for being in Christ doesn’t make me perfect. I believe He sees and knows all my struggles and He’s making me the better person I want to be. I’ve went through the hurdles and puddles. I can tell you how debilitating being assaulted is and worst still depression. Despite all these, I feel happy God is safely guiding me, leading me to that point where I want to be. I always feel blessed and relieved talking about my situation to my friends and family.

In all, dearest family, it’s always best to reach out for help when we feel we have to. It’s quite unfortunate I’ve talked to some people who couldn’t help me, but bashed me for my weakness and my past. I felt much better knowing and understanding there’re people who’ve been through the raging storms like me, and know and understand what I feel. I’ve been blessed with people who keep encouraging me and make my life glow like never before. In love, I’ve felt elated and heartbroken and every emotion in between, thanks to what I went through. Now, I feel stronger, way better, and more comfortable to talk about it. When I look back at my past, I weep, but at the same I’m thankful I went through it because I know it’s God’s will, not mine. I’m thankful for some of the amazing people who’ve helped encourage me from Illinois, Maryland, Oklahoma, Kansas, and other places I failed to mention. Do you know anybody struggling with addiction or you feel is still struggling? Don’t be shy or afraid to talk to the person. Give the person a chance to open up to you. You may not realize the good you’re doing by saving that single soul, and restoring the joy and freedom once lost, till you do it. Please just reach out to that person and be the difference in that soul, in our community, in the world, and in the universe.