Dearest friends,
I woke up yesterday morning(June 26, 2015) to the decision made by the Supreme Court Of The United States(SCOTUS) to legalize same-sex marriage. Words cannot express the mixed emotions that I have about this. Many people celebrated what is now the new law of the land. #LoveWins was trending on social media. Of course, love wins and always will. However, amidst the jubilation of many LGBT members and allies, the reactions that ensued from many Christians were and are still nothing beyond appalling. It does not surprise me that we, Christians, still have a long way to go when it comes to reaching out to the lost and unsaved. Many Christian reactions revealed arrogance, ungodliness and hypocrisy. There are many out there who call themselves Christians, but will not inherit the kingdom. That is a fact! Does this surprise me? Definitely not! Christ himself said, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.“(Matthew 7:21). Instead of many Christians striving to do the will of the Father, they would rather find themselves criticizing a decision that cannot be overturned any longer. Now, does this decision to legalize gay marriage make me happy? Yes, I am beyond thrilled and ecstatic. I am elated. The reason for this is that I am more hopeful than ever that Christ is definitely coming sooner than expected. Many Christians whine and criticize SCOTUS’ decision, but are doing nothing about the will of the Father. They are not telling the same people in need of a savior about the good news of the Savior.
Friends, I am a firm believer of freedom. I believe we’re free to make our own choices, but are never free from the consequences of our choices. Now you tell me, what difference would it make banning same-sex marriage under the guise of religion, bashing and lambasting gays when we, Christians, are not any better than them? What difference would it make banning gay marriage when there are people still living in the same same sin? Sin is a heart issue, and acting on it is rebellion against the Creator. Let us face it, banning gay marriage would not change the hearts of those who wish to get married or their attitudes towards it, but would mean having people putting on facades in front of the world when the heart is still deeply plunged in sin. We are all accountable for our own actions, and God knows every heart on this planet. If serving God is what you really strive for, He already knows. Banning gay marriage will not get every LGBT to heaven.
Besides, we each have our own struggles. For some, it is lust, others, pride, others, adultery and fornication, others, alcoholism, and others, pornography. No sin is better or bigger than the other. Many Christians use this to justify their love for the gay community. But deep down inside, some may not believe this, as they still view gay marriage as the greatest of all sins. That was what I perceived from the reaction of many “Christians”. These people have their own struggles which the world knows nothing about. They are not any different from the Pharisee and Scribes. They hide their struggles in their masks and jeer at those who choose to publicly acknowledge their own sin and struggle. They forget that Paul writes in James 2:10 that “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.” They forget that by breaking a single law like alcoholism, pornography, idolatry, jealousy, pride and even lust( which is adultery, by the way), they have broken all the laws, including homosexuality. Yes, they are also guilty of homosexuality which is also a sin like all the other sins.
As a follower of Christ and same-sex attracted Christian, I know what it means to be gay and be Christian. I know the constant battle of not giving in to my earthly desires for something greater, better and sweeter. I know what it means to die to my old self and walk with Christ, being mindful of judging others because of my own sin. I know exactly what these people feel and even worse for being Christian, because that was where I used to be. Many Christians do not know what it feels like to be there. They do not fully know and understand how to reach out to the LGBT community. There are many LGBT friends who have deliberately chosen to give up their religious beliefs because of they see us, Christians, as insincere, and I can fathom the feeling. However, they’re responsible for this(leaving). Some Christians will tell you that they love you and will help you overcome your struggle every step of the way when you tell them you wrestle with this. Sadly, their deeds do not match up with their words. The church sometimes ignores that there are many same-sex attracted Christians in need of encouragement, and focuses more on heterosexual Christians, expecting gay Christians to easily reconcile their sexuality with Christianity. I think the church needs to acknowledge that there are also Christians who wrestle with this and try to help them out. I think the Church needs to help us carry our burdens to help ease the aches of the desire. I think the Southern Baptist Churches should do these besides shoving the “you know the truth”, “it is a sin” and “you are going to hell and will not be a member of the church if you live it out” down our throats. I think as a Church, it is our responsibility to look after each other, not remove the speck in another man’s eyes before taking out the plank in ours. We ought to be a reflection of Christ’s love and build each other up, not tear each other down. Some Christians will say to some of us that “Christ loves you and so do I”, but they are the same people who refuse to serve LGBT people-including Christians with same-sex attraction- when they show up in their stores. Lies and hypocrisy at its finest, right? How is refusing to serve a LGBT member because of “God’s will” a reflection of Christ’s love for one another? That is clearly man’s will, not God’s.
However, many “Christians” apparently do not know that they often come off as inconsiderate, rude and arrogant when addressing this issue. They give LGBT members reasons not to like them, and wonder why the world is turning out so badly, forgetting that they are part of the problem. When people refuse to talk about this, they imply it is okay and acceptable. This is the same message the church has swept under the rug for centuries and now that the effect is humongous, many Christians are trying to “deal” with it. Really? And the church expects to see a change with the blink of an eye!
I fully respect the decisions of SCOTUS. It is my duty as a Christian to be respectful and submissive to the Authorites. So, am I insinuating it is not a sin? Absolutely not! It is a sin. However, I will attend gay weddings when invited, for this is part of truly loving everyone even in their wrong choices. It does not mean I support or condone it. I will let each gay person like myself know the consequences of their actions. I will tell many about Jesus and let them make their decision to follow Him. Following Christ is a personal decision. In the same way, getting married to the same gender is a matter of choice, personal belief, and faith. It is now legal, but it does not imply every man who feels attracted to the same gender like me should give in to his sexual desire to marry the man he falls in love with. I know there will always be the temptation to get married, but I trust that God will always provide a way out for me to overcome it. Besides, Christ was tempted and overcame His temptations with scripture. I know that the only weapon that I have is scripture and prayer, and as a same-sex attracted Christian, knowledge of it is sufficient to help overcome my syruggle. I think part of the problem with the church is comparing my same-sex desire with lust. I often cringe when heterosexual Christians tell me they wrestle with lust and so, know what it feels like to fight this. Besides their sexual nature, there is no similarity between the two. Some of them think it is easier to overcome homosexual desire like lust, but they sometimes forget that it is the desire that gives rise to the lust itself and it aches, because they have no idea what it feels like being there. It is like a white man telling a black man he knows what it feels like to be discriminated for being black. No you don’t! And it is like a black man saying he knows what it feels like being white in America. Ha! Indeed! Please tell me more about it. It is always easier to cast/throw stones and rocks at people for what they do when one has not had the chance to live in their shoes.
Moreover, it will be pathetic to find the many who judge, criticize, and call themselves Christians not make it to Heaven. It will be heartbreaking to find Christian leaders not make it to Heaven because they simply ignored the will of the Father and did what they thought was right, not what God wanted from them. Now should not be a time to show our reactions or beliefs on social media. Let our lives speak for itself. I think now should be a time of reflection; a time to examine our relationship with God and where we stand. Instead of posting #JesusWins which we all know He wins and will definitely triumph in the end, what are you doing to foster the Kingdom of the Father? Is tweeting #JesusWins telling people about Jesus? Is tweeting, “God’s definition of marriage trumps SCOTUS'” the solution? Absolutely not! As Christians, we need to be thankful that we know this is a powerful sign that things will not get any better, and Christ is definitely coming sooner than we would expect. It is a time of hope. It should be a time to teach the unbelievers the Good News. Posting about our thoughts, feelings and emotions is not the answer. It is not fulfilling the will of the Father, but ours. Sharing posts on social media about Black Pastors and other rulers not supporting this decision is not telling people about the GOOD NEWS about Jesus. We should be reminding the world that we are all sinners like them and are not any different or better than them. The Good News to be told at this time is that there is hope for everybody and the gay community is not exempt. It is telling people about how much God loves them, regardless of their choices. It is being compassionate and Christlike in our speech and conduct. That is what should be done and if us, Christians, are not doing this, then we are failing in our responsibilities.
There are many people out there shunning others for being gay. These people call themselves Christians, but do not even live for God on a daily basis. These same people claim anyone who experiences same-sex attraction will go to hell. They claim it is in the Bible. Lies, lies, and lies!!! This is very not even biblical. These people forget that temptation is not a sin, but yielding to it is. They forget experiencing this attraction is not living it. They forget that if being tempted is a sin, then it means Jesus sinned. And that is blasphemy! These people are the very ones who scare me and are also the problem.
In conclusion, I gave my life to Christ last year and got baptized on October 12. The only reason I live for Christ now is that I love Him. I know what it means to be truly loved and forgiven by a loving and merciful God. It is His grace and forgiveness that move and drive me each day to keep serving Him, loving Him and knowing Him more. It is His infinite compassion for me when I fail that draws me to a life of chastity and celibacy. Living a celibate life is not always easy. It is hard and sometimes, there is a desire for companionship in loneliness. But I know the end is worth it. I believe that because Christ is my husband, I don’t need to find fulfillment, love and intimacy in other men, since I will be with Him forever. This unbreakable hope is what binds me to Him. Many of my gay friends who are not believers think I am sick and crazy when I tell them about it. However, it is my love for Him that makes me see sin for what it really is, not man’s distorted view of sin. That is what everyone needs to hear and see; our hope in Him. We need to remember that our identity is first and foremost in Christ. We also need to store our riches in Heaven by focusing more on the kingdom, not the ruling. As Christians, we need to show more compassion like we have never done. That is what Christ would do. People need to hear the message of repentance, reconciliation, hope, love and forgiveness, and how we do this matters. If someone walked up to me before and told me that Jesus Wins, but did not tell me about Jesus and the kingdom, then that person has not told me the Good News. It would be baloney to me. You are telling me about a deity I neither care about nor believe in and expect a positive response, like really? I would not mind having as many boyfriends as I want, because that person has not told me about the hope in Christ. I wish Christians would follow Paul’s teachings to Timothy when he urged him to remain steadfast in the faith and continue to spread the Good News when men turn away from the truth(II Timothy 3:3-5). We cannot tell the world God’s definition of marriage trumps that of the Supreme Court when many don’t even believe in a God. That is garbage to an unbeliever and I would not even care if it were me. Our mission here is to “love God and our neighbor as ourselves” and to “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit”(Matthew 28:7). This means telling the worl about the Good News. We have to trust that God is in control and understand He lets things happen, so that the prophecies would come to pass. Let nothing deter us from our goal. It is true that Jesus wins and always will, but we must first do what He commands us to do.
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